Blogsperiment 1

There were about 4000 stalkings in Canada in 1999, and that number can only be on the rise with the advent of Facebook.

Facebook is great fun for procrastinating. It’s also a handy tool if you happen to be stalking someone. It let’s people track your every social move.

“But,” you object, “if you simply don’t tell Facebook what you’re up to every minute of every day, Facebook can’t tell the world.”

True enough, but then how would I procrastinate? Rather than abstain from Facebook for the mere sake of personal safety, I have formulated a diabolical plan to flush out my stalker and continue procrastinating at the same time!

I will [pause for dramatic effect] change my relationship status to “dating” (from nothing) and see who exhibits stalkerly behaviour.

OK, the time is 3:46 pm EST. Go!

4:04 Hmm… no stalkers flushed out yet. I would have thought with everyone else studying (read: “also procrastinating”) there would be a lot more people watching Facebook.

4:19 Still nothing! It’s been over a half-hour. I expected someone nosy, if not my stalker, to make noises by now.

4:23 Maybe my stalker, striken with grief, has stuck a fork in an electrical outlet.

4:24 Gasp! Maybe my stalker is out procuring firearms with which to end my life! Is jealousy more powerful than grief? Locking my doors and closing the blinds now.

4:38 Well, this is depressing.

4:47 I have a sneaking suspicion my privacy settings are preventing anyone from seeing updates about my relationship status. Being unable to log on as anyone else (and not wanting to ruin the experiment by asking someone else), I have no way of knowing for sure.

5:58 Frankly, if something hasn’t happened on Facebook in 72 minutes, it isn’t going to happen ever. I suppose you could call this a failure of a blogsperiment, but I prefer to think of it as a learning experience. The moral of this story? Don’t charge into procrastination blindly. You must prepare before you take inaction, or your inaction will be ineffective.

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