Give me your lunch money!

Stephen Harper: just asking to get Canada beat up on the world stage, since 2006.

Harper’s proudest foreign policy decisions?

  1. Standing up to the politically correct Nazis at the Francophonie who wanted Canada to condemn Israel’s military action against Lebanon.
  2. Meeting the Dalai Llama, because China is only numbers two and three for Canadian imports and exports, respectively, and can’t tell us what to do.
  3. Making the principled and difficult decision to not support a continued dictatorship in Zimbabwe.
  4. Cutting off aid to Hamas.
  5. Vocalizing Canadian concerns about the Russians putting their flag on our piece of the north pole.

Canada has become that loser kid in high school with no real friends who will do anything for attention, good or bad. We have principles when it’s against our self-interest (China and the Dalai Llama), we abandon principles when they could earn us some friends (Kyoto and everything climate-change related), we sycophantically attach ourself to one of the bullies (the US on Lebanon), and we whine when another bully takes our lunch money (Russia and the north).

You know what common thread connects these, besides my bad high school metaphor? Most foreign policy decisions are made in the Conservative Party’s best interests, not Canada’s.

So where will Harper’s foreign policy take us in the next four years, should he be returned to the Prime Minister’s office? If he were principled in his politics (he’s not) we might be able to extrapolate from past actions.

  1. Unconditional support for Israel to clobber Lebanon for the sake of protecting Israelis from terrorists. How about unconditional support for Russia is seizing those break-away Georgian provinces?
  2. After meeting the Dalai Llama we should probably piss-off the Americans too. I mean besides by trying to interfere in their election. Maybe Harper will talk about how George Bush failed New Orleans.
  3. Following our impressive mobilization of resources to aid democracy in Zimbabwe, I expect Canada will use the power of the press release to return stability and democracy to Fiji.
  4. Since cutting aid to Hamas was so successful, Harper will probably free Newfoundlanders from the terrorist Danny Williams by cutting off aid to and isolating their island. This will only improve the condition of Newfoundlanders, of course.
  5. I can’t even think of a more pathetic example for “vocalizing” about Canadian sovereignty in the north.

(photo credit)


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