House is back!

My very favourite grumpy misanthrope is back for season five. I am delighted that my class schedule allows me to spend 8-9 pm on Tuesdays in front of the television.

Should the mood strike, I’ll be sharing my experience with you via the medium of blog. You have my permission to not follow along (much as you’d like) and watch the TV instead.

8:01 – You know why there aren’t any women executives? They all have imiaginary cooties.

8:03 – “Metaphorically raped her by having a penis.” This is what I’ve been missing all summer.

8:05 – That Huntington’s talk is a low blow. I like Thirteen.

8:07 – Wilson is leaving? This would be shocking if it hadn’t been on all the TV spots. More importantly: I don’t like when House and Wilson don’t get along. It’s like Mom and Dad are fighting. I might cry.

8:07:30 – The people upstairs are hammering something above my head. This is not a good time for renovations.

8:13 – Oh Kutner. It is far too early in the hour to have an explanation already. The pregnancy is a diversion! Ha, I knew it. No fetus.

8:16 – OK, it is a fetus. But it’s a morally ambiguous fetus that probably isn’t viable. So in time, it will probably cease to be a fetus.

8:22 – I like visits with the old team. They have chemistry with House.

8:24 – House is going to have to grow as a person if he wants to keep Wilson. And he has to solve a complicated and dramatic medical mystery at the same time!

8:26 – This is how House demonstrates his love: I will let a patient die for you. How romantic is that? I bet this will be on Valentines cards come February.

8:29 – Commercial break. I hate to judge too harshly before the end, but this episode feels a bit lacklustre.

8:31 – Cuddy’s all riled up. She doesn’t want Wilson to leave either.

8:33 – Celebrity bowling… does that actually exist?

8:36 – Now there is a commercial for a movie about talking chihuahuas. This sickens me, but the rest of the episode should be improved by comparison.

8:42 – I’m getting bored and events are appearing less and less bloggable.

8:45 – I think I’ve decided I only miss Cameron. Not Chase or Foreman. Also: Did we make it from commercial break to commercial break without seeing House? Because that is not cool.

8:52 – Did house solve a case by being absent for half the episode? Leprosy. Never heard of that kind of Leprosy. How did he do that? Was there an epiphany?

8:57 – Oh this is unpleasant. Wilson is telling off House. He’s leaving because House is a miserable person and they aren’t friends anymore and maybe they never were. I don’t like this one bit.

I think this episode fell short of its potential, especially given the rich material the writers had to work with.
It’s hard to put into words, but the last hour was deeply unsatisfying. I’m used to disappointing episodes, but the season premier? That’s rough.

UPDATE 11:46 PM

The AV Club puts into words many of the things I could not.

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